Step Step Step Step Step Step Step

I stumbled upon this sweet video on Facebook yesterday. I am no relationship expert, simply because I have never been in more than one true relationship in my life, but I have gone through some of its sweetest moments and also some of its bitter ones. Tendencies to click on such videos on Facebook is very low. However, its title got me curious and here we are now; an entry.

For those who have low tolerance towards such videos and its automated choice of music, I have summarised its points here for you:

1. Support each other.
2. Be attentive.
3. Give them time to be alone.
4. Don’t criticize or condemn.
5. Share your worries. And concerns.
6. Learn to forgive and forget.
7. Never give up even if you don’t succeed.

As if following these steps you will bake yourself the most beautiful batch of cookies. Not entirely true, but remember these are steps to follow if you want a happier relationship. If your relationship is not working out at all, your attempts with these seven steps will be futile. The keyword here is ‘Happier’. If it is altogether sorrowful, there will never be a ‘Happier’ in your relationship. You need another video for that.

But today, let us talk about this video. I love the animation albeit the simple guitar music. These steps mentioned above are pretty simple to digest yet so hard to follow. We need a breakdown.

Support each other. No, it isn’t about the time you carry her shopping bags or you cheering during his soccer match. It is beyond that. Now, imagine you trying to put your proposal out in a board meeting, and by the end of your presentation, everybody in the room, from the chairman to the executives, all had a blank face. You start to worry… palms get sweaty… mom’s spaghetti… At that moment, somebody in the room raises his hand and gives you a thumb up and voices his agreement with your proposal. That feeling. That feeling that somebody supports you is the kind of support we need in our relationship more than the usual “let me carry this for you” or “go on, I believe you can do it”. To know, or without knowing, that she speaks highly of you to her group of girlfriends is the kind of support he needs. A team supports one another and never will they speak ill of each other to any outsider. Your relationship is your game and you and your partner makes the team, anybody else from the outside is not part of your game. Only two of you can make it work. Therefore, support one another. Back to the proposal I mentioned earlier. You ask, “but what if it is a shitty bad proposal she’s making in the board meeting!?”. Fair enough. A team will still show support in the face of outsiders. Once in private, the team for the game, which is the two of you, should discuss and iron things out.

This brings me to point number four. Do note that from now onward, the points may jumble accordingly to my flow.

Don’t criticize or condemn. I’ve once read a very good book by Dale Carnegie and he pointed out that people do not blame themselves for anything, and therefore they don’t take criticism well. Criticizing will only put him onto a defensive mode and he will strive to justify himself. This act of condemning an action is dangerous because it wounds his pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment. I am going to make a few analogies, and I was often told that I make very poor ones, exaggerated and completely out of point, but I am going to try. Husband comes home drunk, though he knows his wife hates it when he drinks. She starts yelling and condemns him to never drink again. Instead of criticizing him, she could try to understand why he did the things he did. Stress at work maybe? Who knows. That will be more profitable and intriguing than criticism. It breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. Remember, when we criticize or share disagreement, a small gap grows between us. This hole can only grow bigger and bigger if there is no solution to it. However, this gap is natural and we all share that little differences between one another. It is the act of understanding that bridges these gaps and make us unperturbed by such holes in our relationship. Instead of jumping straight into a habitual complaining, condemning and criticizing mode, think of how counter-productive it can be and skip straight to understanding. I know criticizing may feel good for you. But it only wounds your partner in this game. Remember? Support each other, don’t criticize or condemn.

Share your worries and concerns. Instead of waiting for her to ask if you are having a bad day therefore you want to indulge and wallow in self pity and drown yourself with alcohol, approach her and share your worries and concerns. This may save you both a hell load of trouble. It takes great character to be understanding and forgiving, and it takes great courage to be honest and open. Let us face it. In place of other strength, we may lack that courage or that character. After all, we are merely human. Nonetheless, we can always try. So, when he comes to you to share his concerns and worries, be prepared to have your mind and heart opened. Be ready to hear things you may not want to hear. If your reaction to his worries and concerns are negative, he may very well learn not to share his thoughts with you anymore. And with that, say hello to Bacardi.

Give them time to be alone. Does this mean that he deserves the rights to be alone to solve his own problems? He should be allowed to be alone with Bacardi and also that bitch named Tequila? No. It is often true that men likes to solve their own problems, this makes them feel useful and resourceful. Often when a man comes to you with their problems, they mean to say “I am at my wits end and I need your help with this”. Women on the other hand enjoys pouring out their problems to other women for advice in return. In this game called a relationship, there is no man and no woman. Both is as one. They work as a team. And in a team, they solve problems together. She has to be careful not to make him feel useless and he has to be mindful to include her and not make her feel left out. So what kind of time alone are we talking about here? Literally, time off. We all need our personal space. Be careful if he wants to cuddle all the time and know what you are doing or off to. Red flag alert if she wants you to come along to every girls-night and also wants to tag along for all your boys-night. We all need our personal space. We all need our personal space. We all need our personal space. She needs her personal space and time. He too requires his own personal space and time. Girl, go bake your own cake. Boy, go catch your own fish. “Fine! I will let you go fishing with your friends and I promise I will not be angry about it and I will stay home and netflixxx alllllll day,” infliction of guilt, be it big or small, on your partner while allowing them to have their own time off is no real time off at all. He is going to be thinking about you while fishing in a very resentful way. This will be counter-productive. Find your own cake to bake.

Be attentive. When you notice that she is not smiling as much this week as she used to, something is wrong. Come home earlier from your fishing and it may put a smile on her face. Be attentive to all the small detail in your relationship. She did not and will not be upset that you went out, but she definitely will be happier if you came home early to spend the night. This is the kind of love that the both of you should share. Sometimes we lack that courage to share everything and we extend our expectations to our partners. It is completely right to set expectations on our partners. You should be attentive and know when she is feeling under the weather. You should be attentive to his exam schedule and know when he is anxious about his results. If you do not pay attention to such detail, who else in your relationship will? You are there for him, and he is there for you. Both of you should be attentive to one another. Allow and give each other the opportunity to show that they care. One common mistake is that we can be too nice and we turn them down and discourage them of their turn to show their concern. When he turns up with chocolates when you are down, you may say “aiyo, don’t need la”, or when she comes to our soccer match, you may say “aiyo, what you doing here? go home study ba, later fall sick”. Be attentive to realise and allow your partner to shine, to care and to show concern. Being attentive works both ways, not just one.

Learn to forgive and forget. When we demand attention from our partner, we set a certain expectation for them to fulfill. Sometimes, on a bad day, they may fail that expectation and disappoint. Remember that when we set an expectation, we are not only giving ourselves an opportunity to be satisfied with our partner’s performance but we are also setting and allowing ourselves a chance to be disappointed. And when we become disappointed, we remember and harp on it instead of forgiving and forgetting. As if a relationship has not enough hurdles and obstacles, we set up more traps with our expectation so we can see our partner pass the test or fail and fall. However, is it wrong to have expectations? It is certainly not. We need to set expectations on our partners. Will he clear the bin at home? Will he remember to leave the toilet seat up? Will she allow me to watch the match this weekend? Will she decide on what to eat for once? How we deal with the result of that expectation is the key importance to a happier conclusion. I always believe that we should learn to be happy for the acts our partners do, and not to be upset when certain things, expected or not, are not done. Time for another bad analogy: tonight is my debut performance with my band, and she did not turn up though I wish she did, it is alright, I am not upset. From then, we forgive and we forget. No need to voice it out. Because, we have already put it behind us. But, isn’t this a worry and concern that we should share with our partners as said before? Before you share that, taking that previous example in context, is it a cause for worry and concern? I hardly think so. But if its a continual indifference to what you do that is a worry, do voice it out. But remember, work as a team, support each other and do not criticize, share your concerns. How can we ever forget anything? My auntie Dory could easily do so with her dementia. The keyword here is ‘Learn’.

The last point: never give up even if you don’t succeed. The word I will like to highlight here is ‘Never’. The video did not say “do not give up even if you don’t succeed”. It uses the word ‘Never’. And this word means “never ever”, not “do not” or “not today, maybe tomorrow”. When we give up on something and go back to it, it means this thing is not as important to you and you can afford to just drop it and go back to it anytime again when the weather is better. Your diet will never work if you give up on it after three days of no carbs, and after a week decided to go back to that hellish regime. If things do not work out, always remember to look back at all the previous six steps. And if by then you decide to give up, you are telling your partner that this is not sacred to me and it should not be to you as well. We should never take back somebody who has left you, but we must keep somebody who will never leave you. No matter the reason, once you give up even when things do not succeed as intended, it shows that letting things go is the easiest solution to any thing you do. Giving up is so easy. And when you do it once, she will learn and employ it. A team supports and fight together. If one side decides to give up and get back on track after, the team is not fighting together anymore. They now fight for themselves. Is there a true team? Not really. She knows for certain he may just give up again. And he knows she do not respect this sacred bond anymore because it is fragile and too easily snapped. The keyword to this is once again, ‘Never’. If you ever do feel that way, ask yourself, no matter the reason, for good or for worse, is it worth it to just give things up? If you say yes, or maybe, you know for sure… this is not for you.

I hope my personal enhanced seven steps are in a clearer order. Let us recap in my order:

1. Support each other.
2. Don’t criticize or condemn.
3. Share your worries. And concerns.
4. Give them time to be alone.
5. Be attentive.
6. Learn to forgive and forget.
7. Never give up even if you don’t succeed.

One more point did not make it to the list. Learn to compromise and give in when possible. I think this is very important and it works in a very strange and powerful way. You know she likes it extra crispy, but you like it original, yet everytime both of you visit KFC, you end up eating extra crispy and both of you end up very happy and fat. How come? Because it makes her happy to have things her way, and it makes you happy to see her happy. You do not like it when she wears her skirt too short. You do not like it when the first thing he does when he comes home is watch TV. Compromise. How? First, ask yourself this: does it kill me that her skirt is too short or does it kill me if he watches TV first? If no, then there compromise on your part, let him or her be, because most likely they do it because they like things that way. If the answer is yes, then seek to understand why they do it, like the point on criticizing and condemning, we have to ask and find out the reason why they do what they do. She likes her skirt short because it is cooling and trendy, he does not like it because it attracts uninvited attention. He watches TV when he comes home because it helps him to unwind, but she feels neglected. Now, if both party understands each other, each should compromise on their part. If he chooses to watch TV, let him be, and if he does not, be happy about it and thank him for choosing otherwise. Remember the point of setting expectations? It works this way too. If she chooses to wear her skirt short, let her be, but if she chooses to don a long dress for you during friend’s party, appreciate and understand that she is compromising, celebrate and be happy. Compromise when necessary and possible, if it makes your partner happy, let it be. But if it indeed kills you, do not give in. Talk things out.

Let these steps be like a little light through your next relationship. Be a little cute happy little fish like this one below. Swim through the murky and difficult waters of love and find that eternal bliss. Remember, never give up, keep swimming. At the end of the day, we are merely still human.

I hope your light finds me one day

June 23, 2016June 23, 2016 by gildonchoo Categories: lifestyle, loveTags: happiness, love, relationship, self-help Leave a comment

Finding Closure

Not every situation has a definite end. Unless, one has an aversion to ambiguity. Is ambiguity necessarily bad? Often than not, I like to keep things open to interpretation, but certain things do require closure.

Sometimes problems may be easier resolved over time. Anger and grudges may soothe after a cooling period. In other instance, forgiveness (for oneself or others) may seep in slowly with self-reflection. Upon constant reflection, enlightenment and awakening may happen. And, reflection takes time. Do we forget about time and seek out closure too quickly?

Most of my friends think I do not share my problems enough. I may rant, but I seldom share deep personal thoughts. I think that by containing it within may not necessarily be a harmful thing. By spilling my problems out, my friends may only understand my one-sided and biased account of my problem or opinion. And most of the time, my problems do not involve them. So why should I burden them with my personal issues?

Sharing is caring. Friends care and they want to know more about your problems. They want to help in ways that they can, or some may just want to know what is happening with you without an obvious cause or reason. However, if I am strong enough to handle my own problems, I do not see why I should involve others or allow others to involve themselves into my problem. I am contented to have them in my life, but not in my problems.

You will hear me share my problems when I need an advice, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on or some empathy. Otherwise, everything else may just be for your information or entertainment.

Now, back to finding closure. Often when we spill our problems out and our friends become involved, we unknowingly set our path onto seeking closure. Our friends will often tell us to give up on something, because they feel that that may be what we needed or wanted to hear. Sometimes they will advice us to hold on and not let go, but that may conflict with our inner-self and confuse our heart and mind regarding our own judgement. We tend to listen, because there is a substantive amount of pressure, albeit small, when we voice out our problems to our friends. If we do not consider following the advice given to us, then why would we seek second opinion from our friends? With no intention to insult them, we usually give a nonchalant verbal assurance that we will try. Or maybe we do not need advice, all we need is a listening ear.

I have grown up with a single-parent and being the only child, I tend to solve my own problems and share my own personal problems with myself. My mother and I do talk. However, deep personal issues are usually passed back and fro in my mind. I talk to myself most of the time. I understand sometimes we need somebody else to hear what we are saying to make sure we do not go insane. If whoever we choose to share our stories with decides to involve himself / herself into your situation, it may become more complicated than it already is.

Some of our friends understand that we may only need them for their shoulder and support. Nothing needs to be said, all we want to see and hear is a physical presence of a friend and him / her who will permit to lean on their shoulder while you cry into the night. This can happen in absolute silence without an exchange of word, but through that thin space of nothingness is a thick fiber of understanding. Some friendship goes deep. They may just need a simple nod of the head and everything will be understood.

Empathy and sympathy are two very different terms. They are most commonly confused for one another. Let me clear that cloud for you. Sympathy is when you are drenched in the rain and you say, “it is so cold and wet here”, and a friend with an umbrella comes along and say, “I know, it must be terrible”. Empathy is when you are drenched in the rain and you say,”it is so cold and wet here”, and a friend comes along and stands in the rain with you and say, “I know, it is terrible”. Prior to this, we were talking about finding a shoulder to lean on. That, is physical support. I find that empathy is the emotional support that we seek out to assure ourselves that somebody else truly understands our problem and has been through it or will walk through us through our difficult time without being physically or emotionally involved in our problems.

So what happens when our friends start to feel the same way we do? It may make us feel better, or not. But inevitably, we start to head towards a certain closure. It may not be a cognitive closure, it may very well just be us labeling a problem as solved because we choose to ignore it or not care about it anymore. Usually, this may harbor hatred or unresolved feelings.

Problems cannot be undone. They are not easily undone like taking things off the shelf and placing it back after. Take caging a bird and setting it free after as an example, the experience may inflict some form of psychological trauma for the bird. Punching somebody in the face and apologising afterwards is an obvious example. Or even volunteering to pay for his medical bills or even nurse him back to health, the problem remains and it will never be undone in the way you imagine.

Saying sorry never truly helps. It is but the first step to recognition and the starting phase of seeking forgiveness. As mentioned in the earlier part of post, forgiveness much like enlightenment takes time. It also takes work. We must constantly prove ourselves to be better and to show that we have improved and truly sorry for whatever wrong we have done. When we see such efforts to redeem themselves coming from others, we must recognise and show appreciation otherwise there may be a risk that their old habit may fall back in place.

Undoing a problem is not impossible. It is however extremely difficult and even more so when there are complications involved. It is exactly at this moment that one weighs whether it is worth the hassle to walk back. Often than not, we do not have the time to untie all these complications and we simply just give up.

The question is, are we ready for closure? Do we really want to set the bridges of fire and watch it burn? Do we want to make things more complicated and set it on a path of almost no-return? Or do we want to let ambiguity play a part in our life?

Some decisions in life are easy to make. There may be a skank in your life, like mine, that needs to be shanked. Gut her and let her be, get rid of that worm that you clearly do not need in your life. But there are other people who you really care about.

I have one red book and on it writes three line on its first page. I stay true to the third line. I will always stay true. Liar or not.

June 10, 2016June 10, 2016 by gildonchoo Categories: lifestyle, loveTags: personal thought Leave a comment

The Leaning Tower of Pisa

On the 7th of January 2016, I revisited Pisa. She was still as serene as ever.

This particular trip was memorable. There were a few downs but mostly I believe we all had a great time exploring Europe. For me, it was a whole new experience but same old places. Dear friends and closest friends of mine packed and left for Europe for almost a good month. We celebrated Christmas in London and New Years Day in Paris. We started with five, but for the rest of the trip down through Italy, there was only left with three of us. Along the winding trail of our Italy trip, we had many stops.

One of the stop was Pisa.

Pisa sits composed and untroubled. The reputable bell tower of the cathedral of Pisa leans ever so gracefully and patient as if immune to the effects of time. Rows and rows of tourists, mostly Asians, would gather nowhere but here at the grounds of the leaning tower. What do they do? They do what they do best: selfies and striking a pose for the camera.

Last checked, I am Asian. Therefore, I just had to do one.

Fail.

But for today, our focus is on a mural in Pisa. On the exterior of a casual-looking church is a large scale painting depicting a myriad of colourful figures doing discernibly random acts. It was modern, current and stylish as compared to its antiquated surrounding. I had to stop and snap a picture (below). And it was then I remembered his name. The man that I find so familiar: Keith Haring.

Tuttomondo (1989) on the exterior of Church of St. Anthony Abbot of Pisa

Keith Haring (1958—1990) was an exceptional and exemplary urban artist whose street art rose above to a greater purpose. He had the insight to see how art would become intermingled with the human environment, his work responded to the New York City street culture of the 1980s and often expresses the concepts of birth, death, war and sexuality. Keith was also a social activist. His works were heavily political and his imagery had then became a widely recognised visual language of the 20th century.

While in New York, Keith met with a Pisan student who invited him over to spend a period in the Tuscan city. And it was then that he had the idea to create something in Pisa. An agreement made with the town and convent’s priest resulted in a mural which took four days to paint. Usually Keith would complete his paintings in a day, however this mural took him a week to complete.

Pisa is amazing, I do not know where to begin. I realise now that this is one of the most important projects I’ve ever done.

-Keith Haring, 19 June 1989

Keith rarely attributed a title to his works because urban graffiti will often disappear over time.

Titles? A difficult question, because I never give a title to anything… Not even this painting has one. But if it would, it would be something like… Tuttomondo!

-Keith Haring, when asked about his mural

Much devotion and effort was put into the creation of this magnificent art. The title proposed by Keith, expressed in words, represented the symbolic meaning of unity and peace.

At the heart of the mural lies the Pisan cross, a symbol of Pisa, with four human beings conjoined at the waist. The animals, a dolphin, a dog, a bird and a monkey, represents the essential harmony between man and creatures. A pair of scissors, a union of two figures, represents the good and it cuts the serpent which represents evil in this world, overall symbolises good triumphs over evil. A woman with a baby in her arms and a man with television for a head symbolises the contrasts between the requiescence of life and technology. The deformed figures and others all adds to the dynamic of the mural. Everything is well fitted together to symbolise peace and harmony in the world.

At the bottom of the mural is a yellow figure walking in the direction of the leaning tower; an audience, a bystander, who devotes a moment to reflect upon Keith Haring’s art.

Eventually, Keith’s soul and talent was claimed by the AIDS epidemic. He was openly gay and a strong advocate of safe sex. However, in 1988, he was diagnosed with AIDS. It left a great impact in his life. It is clear that the theme of sexuality and AIDS permeates in his later works. Sex was a predominant theme in his art, but his perception of sex was affected by constant fear as the threat of AIDS became apparent. It had a great influence in his life, many of his friends were dead because of the disease, and being a social activist, he aimed to turn sexuality, specifically homosexuality, away from the subculture and stereotypes. Through the joint lenses of religion, politics and art, Keith became the first artist to present homosexuality in a politically progressive way.

Tuttomondo was Keith’s last public work.

 

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Sometimes we see art and allow the simplest and most shallow form of interpretation to cloud our judgement. “This looks bad”, “this doesn’t look right”, “this colour doesn’t match with that” and “it should be like this and not like that”. We have all been there before. But before we apply our worthless comments, should we not think why the artist would have intended his/her work as to be such?

Think before we speak. When it comes to art, we have to think before we “see”.

In retrospect, his pop art and subtle symbols made him into an unlikely fashion icon. The first time I saw the colourful human figures was in a t-shirt. I thought, “how cute”. And it was much later when a friend who is currently a fashion designer brought his name to light and introduced me to his art. Here below are some of “his” designs.

Sometimes the most simple motif can be blown into such beautiful proportion. If you are curious and want to see more of designs influenced by Keith Haring, do Google! For your information, many designers are collaborating with Keith Haring Foundation, founded by Keith himself, which supports AIDS and children’s charity.

In this video, we see Keith Haring going about creating public art in subways in the early stage of his life. Evidently getting arrested as well.

I shall end off my entry with a documentary by Maripol, friend of Keith Haring. I hope you will know and fall in love with Keith and his art as I did. The documentary is in six segments. It is an hour long, do come back and watch it when you can. I will not spoil it for you.

This is how I met Keith Haring. Have you met him yet?

April 20, 2016April 21, 2016 by gildonchoo Categories: art, fashion, film, lifestyle, loveTags: documentary, italy, pisa, street art, travel Leave a comment

Adult Toys

众音组合 Syncretic is under the umbrella of House of Music. The trio consists of 古筝 guzheng performer Indra Chen, 箫 xiao / 笛子 dizi performer Tan Qinglun and last but not least… myself on the 琵琶 pipa. Trio by appearance, almost a quartet by strength. Dayn Ng is the music producer and brain behind every musical setting. So if you ask me, this trio has four heads… and one heart.

众音组合 Syncretic

I’m very pleased that we managed to pull through with our plans this morning. Seems to me that this harvest might be promising after all. For those who did not read my previous post, I mentioned that the trio had sown some seeds. We cannot be sure of how this will sprout, but certain as the sun, this bud will bear fruit.

After rehearsing, we headed across the road for some fried chicken. I’m not a fast food lover, but I do reminisce times past when my mother would bring me out for a happy meal. Those were the days. But with entertaining company such as this bunch, it was not difficult to muse over such fond memories.

Qinglun, I wanted original fried chicken and not the crispy fried chicken. And I told you clearly that I wanted drumsticks. This is what I wanted, but I got this instead. I can foresee in the future he will not be so kind as to order food for me anymore. But, I did say pretty clearly that I wanted original fried chicken and not the crispy fried chicken. But… but… but, I very chinchye (随便) one. I’ll eat any chicken. Though I’ll prefer the original fried chicken to the crispy fried chicken.

I cannot remember how we started talking about dogs. Fried chicken and dogs. What the frying frog is the link? We were discussing about the smartest breed. During my days managing a pet cafe, I think I was told that the standard poodle is the second smartest breed. Wanlin said the border collie is the smartest. Qinglun insisted it was the German shepherd. When we got onto the internet to find out the answer, I just had to shout “I TOLD YOU SO!”. I just had to. I just had to. Then Qinglun started the fight by saying I was childish. And I hit him next. Then he hit me. Then I hit him back.

Wait, talking about being childish… Does anybody else think Donald Trump is the real childish one? He recently posted an unflattering picture of Heidi Cruz, wife of Ted Cruz, alongside Melania Trump, his wife who was a former model from Slovenia. American journalist and television personality, Anderson Cooper, pointed out to Donald Trump during an interview that his arguments with Ted Cruz are of a 5 year old’s. Taken aback by the remark, Donald Trump rebuked and claimed that he did not start it (the argument between Cruz and Trump). He did not start the fight. Moreover, he started to go into a tirade regarding “exactly this kind of thinking (of Anderson Cooper’s remark) is the problem in this country”. What a load of crap is Donald Trump. Seriously, I’m glad we do not have such a buffoon running for presidency in Singapore.

Back to Qinglun. He is more childish. K? Last touch.

We headed back to the studio and while Qinglun took a nap, the rest of us, namely Dayn, Wanlin, Indra and I conspired a little prank for him. This was extremely hilarious. Qinglun and I were supposed to conduct classes today from 1430 to 1730. Qinglun decided to take a nap but little did he know that actually the class today was cancelled weeks before. I forgotten and only got reminded when I was browsing through my texts with the teacher-in-charge. Therefore, we all decided maybe waking Qinglun up at 1435 would be a good April Fools’ prank (because Qinglun still thinks that there is class and will expect me to wake him from his nap). The rest pretended that I left 20 minutes ago and was conducting lessons already while Dayn only woke him up at the studio at 1435. He fell for the prank and it was hilarious for us all. In the end, we all broke down in laughter and tears.

Who says adults cannot toy with each other like kids do?

The end.

Complimenting each other I’m sure

Before I end tonight’s entry. I will just like to thank each of you for finding an interest in reading my humble little blog. It is honestly nothing much because I’m no blogger. For those who are interested to know: booboo and I are back together. The power of sampoules is the strongest in the universe. I’ll put up another entry about this. I cannot say I am happy but trust me… I’m the happiest person alive now. I know I should not say so because this should not have happened.

April 2, 2016April 2, 2016 by gildonchoo Categories: lifestyle, love, music, uncategorizedTags: dogs, donald trump, homsg, myiqy, prank Leave a comment

Spring • Cleaning

House of Music

Slouching, fat and ugly in the right corner making himself useless – that’s me (donned in my artsy armor by Jeremy Scott X Adidas). Click here to see it on somebody else, I’m a poor example of a model. I tend to make clothes look bad. Don’t laugh at me, some of you are worse.

Yesterday night was an interesting night with my music comrades from House of Music. We had dinner, dessert, project discussion, spring-cleaning, fighting, arranging and rearranging and arranging again and rearranging again, arguing, and lastly… supper. Respectively in that order!

Creating a sound entirely from scratch is not as easy as said. Music in our head are tainted with a welter of familiar sounds and musical phrases we know. Assembling them in blocks and pieces requires a certain skill. Often than not, we tend to fall back onto ideas we know, which does not belonging to us, and find it extremely onerous to engineer something original thoroughly. Why? Because not everybody are meant to compose. Some are born to execute and see through plans… like most musicians. However, there will always be a handful of geniuses who acquire the knack of concocting their own cocktail with ingredients they grow within their own music garden. I tend to fall under the latter category, but surely I’m no genius.

Some music groups have attempted to compose with bits and pieces of popular and familiar sounds together. The result? A musical Frankenstein; an abomination. However, there are notable groups out there doing real good works! Who? 念乐团 Nen, MUSA_SG and Kulcha (let’s not mention them because I’m in it) are just two to begin with. Do check them out. In order not to be pigeonholed together with the miserable sounding groups, we got our shovels and wiped our slate clean. With pretty gardening aprons on, the team started sowing. I’m already excited for the harvest.

Spring. Yes, spring… a symbol of hope, rebirth, growth and love. Can you hear Vivaldi’s ‘Spring’ at the back of your head? Recently we celebrated Easter. Much like the season of spring, Easter is about new life. The symbolism of spring has its roots deep into literature and art. Altogether, this could be another topic for another day. Not today. Today we talk about spring-cleaning.

Spring-cleaning. It kills all the fun and if you pay attention to the music behind your head, you will find no more Vivaldi’s ‘Spring’. Just this other song below.

Maybe it is just me. I don’t like spring-cleaning. Never do. My mother would slay a dragon than to convince me otherwise. I guess it speaks a lot about character too… such as “Why people make their beds?” and blahblahblah… I tend to pile things up and get comfortable with the organised mess. Clearing things up gives people a chance to start afresh. I need to understand that and start practicing spring-cleaning in my life.

My special booboo left me. There, I’ve said it. And not one second am I feeling better. The way we handle problems are different and it poses as a potential threat to our relationship. I must change for the better because I’m not wise and I’m not good. Most importantly, I believe it and I know it. This bad habit has to go.

My mother did not invent spring-cleaning to ruin my perfect weekend. This good habit has deep practical and symbolic roots. I read from Stephanie Earls that modern pagans carry on with the tradition so as to sweep away negativity from an area to invite positive influences.

While you’re whisking away bad mojo, don’t forget to clear the air. Bell-ringing or singing is used in many cultures to scare away unseen evils and symbolically cleanse the air before a ritual, Chauran said. It also can give you — and nature — a boost.

“Wake up the springtime, wake up those good things that make the flowers grow,” she said. “I think that anyone can sort of evoke those old traditions by cranking up some good music, singing while you work and filling the air with music.”

– taken from The Gazette

In our relationships, be it with family, friends or a partner, we should exercise some sort of spring-cleaning. Maybe it has been a while since the both of you have felt like you used to before, because either party has been preoccupied with work or affected by a recent event. Instead of letting the residue of such issues settle, we should clear the air and crank the relationship up a step to remind ourselves of what we used to have. Primarily, to show that both of you have not lost that special spark.

Why was I not wiser before? Is it too late now?

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Dayn, Qinglun and Wanlin, of House of Music, were packing the small working space last night: clearing scraps and unnecessary personal junks that denature (not in such a strong manner) our working environment. However, it got to the extent that our cosy working space has transformed to a hospital corridor. Devoid of personal touch, a bunch of strangers could easily sit in the studio and look like they belong there. We got down to detail such as “should the cute cookie tin container go?”, “where should the Dong-Konng (piggy bank) go?” and “this belongs here because this tallies with this space and that chair doesn’t”.

I think a space can either look clean and neat like a city street without trees or it can look slightly more alive with green and lush. I think we need more plants, some greens or natural element; wood, stone or water.

I’m a believer of personal space and personal working space. We all need our personal space. Do you ever feel comfortable getting your personal bubble invaded by strangers in a crowded train? If you secretly enjoy it. You’re probably this man. Otherwise, you are perfectly normal. It can be accustomed through time, but we never really feel good about it. A personal working space can only be created by personalising your own cubicle or working desk. We should never deny anybody the rights to place their family picture, best-dad cup or motivation balloon.

What the flying flounder-fish is a motivation balloon? Ask Dayn. He has one made by Wanlin with quotes and words of motivation scribbled on its face. Too cute.

After the laborious cleaning, we all headed out for supper at 瑞春点心 Swee Choon Tim-Sum Restaurant at Jalan Besar. I think they are one of the best late night dim-sum supper place. Another great dim-sum place would be 126 搵到食 Wen Dou Sek located at Sims Avenue. Both are great places to go. However, I would choose Swee Choon because I tend to overspend at 126. Don’t know why. Don’t ask. Maybe because I over order…

I will remember you

Ugly me again. Big round fleshy hands almost like Barney the Dinosaur. Friendly and cute though. No? OK! OK! OK!

Years ago, Sarah McLachlan’s music walked me through a phase of my life. And here I am again, rediscovering myself.

Sarah McLachlan – I Will Remember You (LIVE from Mirrorball 1999)

Lyrics:
I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad.
How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun
Want to feel your warmth upon me
I want to be the one

I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much to deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard

I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so afraid to love you
But more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life

I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

 

March 31, 2016March 31, 2016 by gildonchoo Categories: fashion, food, love, musicTags: dimsum, homsg, jeremy scott 1 Comment

Giving up, Letting go and Holding on

On love and understanding… No matter how much we curse at one another, stab each other in the chest and in the back, pull one another’s hair and laugh at each other’s misery, there will always be a soft side of us that shows great love and respect for people we care for, love and understand.

I was touched to receive a box of love from House of Music tonight. In comparison to the little surprise within, the box was indeed relatively big although it’s really quite small. How should I put it… let me draw an exaggerated correlation of this little surprise with its big white exterior. It’s almost like finding a speck of gold in an oyster shell. This little speck of gold I’m speaking of is a little piece of salted-egg croissant.

a little salted love

Somebody special once bought me a similar petite salted-egg croissant. Salty to the tongue, albeit sweet to the heart.

Upon seeing the speck of gold in this box of love, I paused for a brief moment and savoured the subtle momentary sweetness in my heart. First bite, the juncture of tasting the familiar salted-egg ran in parallel with the flashback of experiencing it for the first time with my special someone. Salty, honeyed but suddenly bittersweet. I had to find a distraction, otherwise I will be lost in my reverie.

I was discussing a project with Qinglun. Flipping through the pages of music we were working on, I found a cute sketching of a flower in the corner of my score. I thought I had my emotional seat belts tightened, but I was abruptly thrown back into the phantasy I sought to temporarily escape from.

Innocent little flower. Badly drawn if you ask me. However, beautiful and so very cute to my eyes. I smiled. Oh, my heart aches. Did my booboo draw it there to remind me of love while I’m tied up with work? Oh, my heart feels so heavy. Am I not a sentimental being? Sometimes I do question myself. Yet I’ve collected every tissue and napkin with booboo’s little drawings… Some says cute things. Most of them however has a little flower. This same flower on my score.

I’m so sad. My friends asked if I’ve given up. My answer is ‘no’. Never will I. But, giving up and letting go is very different. I should let go so that we can both be at a better place. Most importantly, I want booboo to be happy. Better for me, if indeed booboo is happier. I know nonetheless, I will never be happy without booboo by my side. I can try to be better, but better is not the same as happy. I can only try.

I promise. I sampoules promise. I’ll hold on.

Sarah McLachlan – Hold On (LIVE from Mirrorball 1999)
This song was inspired from a documentary Sarah McLachlan saw about a woman whose fiancé was dying of AIDS.

Lyrics:
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
for this is gonna hurt like hell
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
you know that only time will tell
What is it in me that refuses to believe
this isn’t easier than the real thing
My love
you know that you’re my best friend
you know I’d do anything for you
my love
let nothing come between us
my love for you is strong and true
Am I in heaven here or am I…
at the crossroads I am standing
So now you’re sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
that you’ll be strong tomorrow and we’ll
see another day and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile
across your face
Oh god if you’re out there won’t you hear me
I know that we’ve never talked before
oh god the man I love is leaving
won’t you take him when he comes to your door
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell
at the crossroads I am standing
Now you’re sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
that you’ll be strong tomorrow and we’ll
see another day and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile
across your face…
Hold on
hold on to yourself
for this is gonna hurt like hell

 

March 30, 2016April 20, 2016 by gildonchoo Categories: food, love, music, uncategorizedTags: myiqy Leave a comment